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The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe by Parton, James, 1822-1891

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The Humorous Poetry Of The English Language, From Chaucer To Saxe. With Notes, Explanatory And Biographical, By James Parton. Preface.

Index. Miscellaneous. Subject. Author. Narrative.

Enigmatic. List Of Sources List Of Illustrations. Miscellaneous.

To Chloe. To A Fly,

Address To The Toothache.

Written After Swimming From Sestos To Abydos. Byron.

Venus Of The Needle. William Allingham. Narrative

The Jewess And Her Son A Story.

Part I. Part Ii.

Lay Of The Naiads.

* * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Petit Maitre, And The Man On The Wheel

Moral. Story The Second.

Epitaph On Holy Willie

R.f. Third Letter.

Canto The First. Courtship. Canto The Second. Matrimony.

The Presbyters To Palmerston. Palmerston To The Presbyters.

Parodies And Burlesques

Baucis And Philemon.

I. Delia At Play. Ii. The Poet Proves The Existence Of A Soul From His Love For Delia.

Iii. I. The Poet Relates How He Obtained Delia's Pocket-handkerchief. Ii. The Poet Expatiates On The Beauty Of Delia's Hair

Iii. The Poet Relates How He Stole A Lock Of Delia S Hair, And Her Anger.

Grand Chorus: Good-night. Ii. A Parental Ode To My Son, Aged Three Years And Five Months.

Iii. A Serenade.

Enter Blind Vocalist.

Friend Of Self-government. Cab-driver.

Friend Of Self-government.

I. Ii. Om My Refusing Angelina A Kiss Under The Mistletoe Iii.

I. Paris And Helen.

Ii. Tarquin And The Augur.

Moral. Epigrammatic Epigrams Of Ben Jonson. To Fine Grand.

The Cudgeled Husband. On Seeing Verses Written Upon Windows At Inns On The Church's Danger. On One Delacourt's Complimenting Carthy On His Poetry. On A Usurer.

The Place Of The Damned. The Day Of Judgment. Epigrams By Thomas Sheridan. On A Caricature. On Dean Swift's Proposed Hospital For Lunatics

Epigrams Of Peter Pindar. Edmund Burke's Attack On Warren Hastings On The Conclusion Of His Odes The Lex Talionis Upon Benjamin West

On A Tuet-hunter. The Kiss. Epitaph On A Well-known Poet-(robert Southey.) The Rabbinical Origin Of Women.

A Gentle Echo On Woman.

Affecting Copy Of Verses (with Notes).

"her End Was Pieces."

A Sunnit To The Big Ox. Enigmatic Riddles By Matthew Prior. Two Riddles.

Enigma. Another. A Maypole. On The Moon.

On Ink. On A Circle. On A Pen. A Fan.

On A Cannon. On The Five Senses. On Snow. On A Candle.

On A Corkscrew. An Echo. On The Vowels. On A Pair Of Dice. On A Shadow In A Glass.

On Time. Catalogue Of Sources

Once, in Italy, at Florence, I a radiant girl adored: When she came, she saw, she conquered, And by Cupid I was floored.

Round my heart her glossy ringlets Were mysteriously entwined-- And her soft voluptuous glances All my inmost thoughts divined.

"Mia cara Mandolina! Are we not, indeed," I cried, "All the world to one another?" Mandolina, smiled and sighed.

Earth was Eden, she an angel, I a Jupiter enshrined-- Till one night I saw a damning DOUBLE SHADOW ON HER BLIND!

"Fire and fury! double shadows On their bed-room windows ne'er, To my knowledge, have been cast by Ladies virtuous and fair.

"False, abandoned, Mandolina! Fare thee well, for evermore! Vengeance!" shrieked I, "vengeance! vengeance!" And I thundered through the door.

This event occurred next morning; Mandolina staring sat, Stark amaz'd, as out I tumbled, Raving mad, without a hat!

Six weeks after I'd a letter, On its road six weeks delayed-- With a dozen re-directions From the lost one, and it said:

"Foolish, wicked, cruel Albert! Base suspicion's doubts resign; DOUBLE LIGHTS THROW DOUBLE SHADOWS! Mandolina--ever thine."

"Heavens, what an ass!" I muttered, "Not before to think of that!"-- And again I rushed excited To the rail, without a hat.

"Mandolina! Mandolina!" When her house I reached, I cried: "Pardon, dearest love!" she answered-- "I'm the Russian Consul's bride!"

Thus, by Muscovite barbarian, And by Fate, my life was crossed; Wonder ye I start at shadows? Types of Mandolina lost.

THE RETORT GEORGE P. MORRIS

Old Nick, who taught the village school, Wedded a maid of homespun habit; He was stubborn as a mule, She was playful as a rabbit.

Poor Jane had scarce become a wife, Before her husband sought to make her The pink of country-polished life, And prim and formal as a Quaker.

One day the tutor went abroad, And simple Jenny sadly missed him; When he returned, behind her lord She slyly stole, and fondly kissed him!

The husband's anger rose!--and red And white his face alternate grew! "Less freedom, ma'am!"--Jane sighed and said "OH, DEAR! I DIDN'T KNOW 'TWAS YOU!"

SATIRICAL

THE RABBLE: OR, WHO PAYS! SAMUEL BUTLER.

How various and innumerable Are those who live upon the rabble! 'Tis they maintain the Church and State, Employ the priest and magistrate; Bear all the charge of government, And pay the public fines and rent; Defray all taxes and excises, And impositions of all prices; Bear all th' expense of peace and war, And pay the pulpit and the bar; Maintain all churches and religions, And give their pastors exhibitions; And those who have the greatest flocks Are primitive and orthodox; Support all schismatics and sects, And pay them for tormenting texts; Take all their doctrines off their hands, And pay 'em in good rents and lands; Discharge all costly offices, The doctor's and the lawyer's fees, The hangman's wages, and the scores Of caterpillar bawds and whores; Discharge all damages and costs Of Knights and Squires of the Post; All statesmen, cut-purses, and padders, And pay for all their ropes and ladders; All pettifoggers, and all sorts Of markets, churches, and of courts; All sums of money paid or spent, With all the charges incident, Laid out, or thrown away, or given To purchase this world, Hell or Heaven.

THE CHAMELEON. MATTHEW PRIOR.